Today is the big day, with the Academy Awards as the culmination of awards season recognizing 2022 movies. Of course, we all know that the Oscars don’t really recognize the best films of the year (which should be self-evident when RRR isn’t even nominated for Best Picture), so we’ve put together our very own list of awards: introducing the first-ever TPB Alternative Movie Awards! (Beware: spoilers abound):
Best Action Set Piece
The opening scene from Athena
If there was one scene that punched way above its weight and outshone even the rest of the movie, it’s the opening scene of Romaine Gavras’s French riot drama Athena. The entire film is mostly made up of adrenaline-inducing, showy oners, but the very first scene is one of the most breathtaking opening sequences of all time that will leave you wondering just how they pulled off such a feat of moviemaking genius. It’s like riding a roller coaster for the first time, astounding, visceral, exhilarating. Even if you only have ten minutes to spare, boot up Netflix and check out the beginning of this film – you won’t regret it. You certainly won’t forget it.
Honorable mentions: the final attack scene in Avatar: The Way of Water; the berserker raid scene in The Northman; the test run scene in Top Gun: Maverick.
Best Chemistry
Timothee Chalamet and Taylor Russell from Bones and All
It was tempting to go with some of the year’s best bromances in The Banshees of Inisherin or RRR, but sometimes you can get too cute when you have the answer right in front of you – in this case it’s the riveting, bloodsucking gothic romance that blossoms between two adolescent cannibals. Chalamet has a hypnotic element that gives him electrifying chemistry with almost anyone he shares the screen with, but Russell really delivers too, matching his smouldering glare with a mixture of darkness and empathy that both humanizes and sensualizes their intimate connection.
Honorable mentions: Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson in The Banshees of Inisherin; Jonah Hill and Phil Stutz in Stutz; N.T. Rama Rao Jr and Ram Charan in RRR; Tang Wei and Park Hae-il in Decision to Leave.
Best Dance Scene
Naatu Naatu dance scene from RRR
I gave serious thought to the opening title scene in After Yang, which would have been the dance of the year in almost any other year. But in the end, there really was no competition for possibly my favorite scene of the year. 2022 was a great year for cinematic lights fantastic, but I’ll take the Tollywood dance kicks even over Miles Teller’s shirtless shimmy, and it seems like both critics and moviegoers agree: audience members have been prone to getting up in theatres and dancing along to this instantly iconic scene.
Honorable mentions: The opening credits scene in After Yang; the opening party scene in Babylon; Paul Mescal Under Pressure dance scene in Aftersun; 4*Town concert dance scene in Turning Red.
Best Villain
Lydia Tár from Tár
For a long time, Mark Rylance’s Sully in Bones and All held this spot – and he still wins creep of the year – but Lydia Tár (Cate Blanchett), the titular renowned autocratic composer, was so venomous and cruel that most viewers thought she was a real person. Like Whiplash‘s Terence Fletcher, Tár inflicts psychological abuse but the terror that she brings onscreen makes you feel like the things she’s doing is real. Blanchett’s performance is a true testament to the destruction that people in power can wield.
Honorable mentions: Frank from Barbarian; Sully from Bones and All; Wolf from Puss in Boots: The Last Wish.
Best Montage
Shooting the Silent Movies in Babylon
Babylon is chock-full of memorable scenes and movie montages, and this one isn’t even the most famous or most-discussed one. But it is the ultimate table-setter, relatively early on in the film, and intercuts between the two leads, Nellie LaRoy (Margot Robbie) and Manny Torres (Diego Calva) as they are introduced to the whirling dervish that is the chaotic set of silent film of the fictional Kinoscope Pictures. They finally have the chance to showcase their talent, but the real star is the exhilarating era of silent filmmaking.
Honorable mentions: The training scene in Top Gun: Maverick; the eight deaths in Puss in Boots: The Last Wish; the House of Dior fashion show in Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris.
Best Naked Scene
The final fight scene in The Northman
This isn’t your typical nude scene, but the last fight scene in Robert Eggers’ viking revenge tale was truly epic. Alexander Skarsgard plays the Hamlet character seeking revenge against his uncle played Claes Bang. Both men are about 6’4″ and almost unbelievably jacked, at around 50 years old. At this point in the film, all pretense, all smoke and mirrors, have been stripped away, literally and figuratively. The fight choregraphy isn’t particularly exquisite but the clash is raw, visceral, and emotionally powerful.
Honorable mentions: The beach dogfight football scene in Top Gun: Maverick; Mother in Barbarian; the rolling birthing sequence in Men.
Best Animal
EO from EO
2022 was a phenomenal year for animals in film. Different creatures have played pets, protagonists, sidekicks, and villains. None was more moving than EO, the donkey in Jerzy Skolimowski’s tender and intimate EO. In a road trip journey of sorts, viewed almost entirely through the perspective of this donkey raised in a circus and forced on an Odyssyian trek throughout Europe, encountering humanity at its best and at its worst. Eat a couple of carrots and walk a mile in EO’s hooves, and you’ll come out the other side a different person.
Honorable mentions: Jenny the donkey from the Banshees of Inisherin; the dog from Dog; Raghu the orphan elephant in The Elephant Whisperers; Gordy the chimp in Nope.
Best One Liner
“What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly” from After Yang
In a year where Colin Farrell was the penguin in The Batman and the lead in the Best Picture-nominated The Banshees of Inisherin, his best role was in Kogonada’s criminally underseen sci-fi family drama. After Yang is beautifully composed and hauntingly meditative, with clear Malick and Ozu influences, about a family dealing with loss, what it means to be human, and what it means to be alive.
Honorable mentions: “Please tell me you did not think sweatshops were where they made sweatpants” from Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery; “Tortilla” from The Menu; “In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you” from Everything Everywhere All at Once; “We have been preyed upon like animals. Maybe we should respond like animals” from Women Talking.
Best Meal
Cheeseburger and fries in The Menu
Food porn culture is pervasive not only on social media and YouTube channels but also the world of film and television. There is delectable fine dining in Triangle of Sadness, lip-smacking dishes in Decision to Leave, and horrifying meals in Fresh, but Mark Mylod’s Michelin-starred satire The Menu combines all of these elements in a single thrilling film. The most memorable dish of the night isn’t caviar-topped or seasoned with truffle, but a simple cheeseburger and fries (so simple that you can make it yourself!). The dish itself is the culmination of the movie, and the thematic nightcap at the end of the chef-driven experience.
Honorable mentions: Sushi takeout in Decision to Leave; the Captain’s Dinner in Triangle of Sadness; meatballs in Fresh.
Best “Holy Shit” Moment
The phone call in Navalny
One of the most exciting and memorable moments that can happen in a movie is when a scene is unfolding before your eyes that you can hardly believe is happening. You’ll gasp, maybe turn to your neighbors wide-eyed, or maybe even continue watching through your fingers. When that moment happens in a documentary like the phone call scene in Navalny, it’s even more powerful because it’s actually happening, with the once-in-a-lifetime luck that there happened to be a camera and boom mics recording every second. This scene alone is worth the price of admission and catapults Navalny into the best documentary of the year.
Honorable mentions: the prison escape on piggyback in RRR; Gordy’s Home massacre in Nope; the zipper scene in Crimes of the Future.
